Midwives rock- It's never too late to say Thanks

I've been  off the radar for the last few months.

It happened. I became a mum.

And it was as wonderful and as earth shifting as I expected - if not more. My little girl has become totally all encompassing. I'm in love. I'm besotted. But I wanted to take this time to build our little family together rather than share it on this blog. To be honest, we had a bit of bumpy ride getting here, so I needed to take time to properly digest!

But I'm ready to revisit.

I'll share my birth story at another date, but when I logged in today I came across I blog left in my drafts, written on the hospital ward 5 months ago... so I thought I'd better start with that:

5th May 2017

I try not be to be a judgmental person.

I like to have a diverse range of friends, different backgrounds, genders, sexual preferences, political leanings... But having been on an antenatal ward for 5 days I have to admit that people are really starting to grate on me.

I got admitted to hospital quite suddenly last week, and since then I have been a resident of 'Ward 21' at Wexham Park Hospital in Slough.

I would like to just say that the midwives and support staff on the ward are superstars.  They see women in their rawest of moments, are supportive when the women is swearing and screaming, belligerent when the woman needs to do something different, and patient when dealing with complaints from stressed birthing partners that can't understand why their loved one isn't being prioritized.  The emotional swells that that I have seen the team react and respond to over the last 5 days would be insurmountable for the majority of people, but these ladies just take it all on the chin as part of their working day.

My view.

These ladies are part caregiver, part confidant, part customer services operative, and they deftly juggle all of these hats.

So how can it be that some people take it on to themselves to be plain rude to these hard grafting women (all the midwives on the ward are ladies, no generalizing here!)? I've seen midwives sworn at, bullied and threatened. And not at women in the throes of labour, which I could partly excuse, but by men and women who feel that they somehow deserve more, or better than what they are getting.

Of course childbirth, and becoming a parent can be a terrifying experience for a lot of couples, you're caught in an emotional swirl that you can't escape. You're on a train and you can't jump off until it reaches that inevitable station.  As a heavily pregnant woman, you are both amazingly powerful and powerless. But it is also a leveler.  And there is no reason that you should take it out on the midwifery staff.

So I just wanted to say, because I'm sure people don't say it enough: Team, you guys rock.

What do baby's movements feel like?

Today marks the mid point of pregnancy Week 34. So for me somewhere between 4-5 weeks before we meet our little one (I'm having a planned C-Section due to Major Placenta Previa, but that story is for another day).   When I was 5 weeks pregnant I didn't even know about our little Pickett's existence... which is when I realise just how few days are separating our lives from totally transforming into something very new. Five weeks is not very long at all...

As I've been getting bigger, I've had the odd person put their hand on my bump. I know some ladies really hate it but, for me at least, it's not something that has happened regularly, or particularly intrusively - it's just one of those things. And Pickett tends to be quite contrary - if they get a sniff that someone might want them to move, they freeze.

I've also had a number of people ask me what it feels like to have a little one growing inside you, and what a good-old-baby-kick feels like.  I feel proud to be part of the club of women who have experienced this, but I'm sure that it other ladies will know what I mean when I say that it's hard to explain... particularly to someone who has no sense of comparison.  How would you explain what a cough feels like?  Or a sneeze?  It's just one of those things that as you grow up you start to associate with the action.  Baby movements are similar - as your bump grows you start to realise all those little flutters were something a whole lot more important than trapped wind...

But, where as an itch is an itch, and generally feels the same wherever on the body it appears, what I've come to realise is that 'baby kicking' does not mean just one thing.  There are a variety of different sensations that I experience, and that I have learnt to associate with the little life in my tummy:

The Drummer

- What: A good solid thwack to the middle of my abdomen. 

 

I was a very active teenager, with an impressive social life of clubs and activities.  Monday was Guides, Thursday was Drama, and Wednesdays was Marching Band (I've heard all the 'Band Camp' jokes... you can stop right there! ;) ).  To be honest my spell in the Marching Band wasn't my finest - I tried my hand at colourguard (that's pompoms and flags to the uninitiated), discovered I wasn't naturally a brass player eventually saving everyone's eardrums by getting braces and moving on the Glockenspiel... but the team I always secretly wanted to join were the drummers.  With their big bass drums I loved the sound that these boys (I can't recall any girls in the drumming section) made as we marched.  And now, in a strange way I feel part of that club... sometimes Pickett's movements seem to make the whole of my tummy vibrate - like when a drummer hits a kick drum, and you can almost feel the vibration across the taught skin.  I tend to experience these as solid isolated movements - so for someone wanting to feel the baby kick they need to strike it lucky and really be in the right place at the right time if you want to feel Pickett's Drumming.  Maybe they will take up my secret desire to be a drummer one day...

The Snowflake Kiss

- What: Small little movements that can be anywhere over my tummy

Some people would probably call these nudges.  These always make me smile.  They aren't necessarily shocking, and to me much more like a little greeting, a little hand reaching out for attentions: "Hi Mum, don't forget about me!"  It reminds me just how lucky I am to have been able to experience this closeness, and what a gift pregnancy is - in our case, it's long fought for, and very much wanted.  In a strange way, these little bumps remind me of the feeling of when the first snowflakes fall, and gently melt away on your cheek.  Yes, I do realise how smushy and romanticised that sounds, but there is something about that feeling that is both a reminder and a promise.

The Humpback Bridge

- What: A full on flip of the tummy

When I was a little girl I used to visit my grandparents every Sunday.  They lived in a village a few minutes drive from my parent's house, so every weekend I'd sit in the back of the car and my Mum and Dad would drive us the very familiar route to their home.  On the outskirts of that village was a little humpback bridge that I remember vividly - not only did it signify that we were close to Nanny and Grumps' House, but I learned to love the tummy-flipping feeling that cresting that bridge would cause.  My grandparents sadly passed away, and as a result I've not been on that road for years, but our little Pickett has been making me think of those Sunday journeys often... Every once in a while our little one seems to summersault, clearly practicing some form of gymnastics or synchronised swimming,  for a split second I'm transported back to the feeling I got on that bridge - like I've  somehow continued to move forward but have managed to leave my tummy behind on the other bank.

 The Too-Tight-Jeans

- What: A growing sense of pressure pushing outwards

When you're pregnant you get used to the idea that nothing really fits.  Or if you do manage to wriggle in to something it will feel very different than you expected. Leggings, and maternity jeans become your new best friend.  You look forward to warmer weather and the excuse to dig out the old maxi-dresses, because those bad boys have so much material that they cover even the biggest of swelling bumps.  With this movement I'm forced to reflect on bad wardrobe choices.  For me it only happens occasionally, but when it does it's quite uncomfortable.  Not painful, just 'bulky.'  I would presume that Pickett is probably having a good old stretch and pushes the bottom of a belly outwards.  I feel a constant regular pressure outwards (not downwards, which I'm lead to believe is much more common for labour!), just like when you're wearing your skinniest of jeans and go and eat too much lunch.  Only this time you haven't got access to the instant relief of popping open a button!

The Snake

- What: When baby wiggles past

Pickett isn't much of a mover really.  Quite happy floating around in their watery armchair.  But every-so-often they go on a bit of an explore (or at least that's how I like to imagine it).  A little adventurer  sidling off to the other side of my womb just to see what the view is like from over there... and the result is this amazing sense of sideways movement.  Sometimes my whole stomach ungulates as Pickett checks out the most comfortable position.  When you're sat their quietly with you hand on your tummy, there is something very bizarre about feeling movement sideways - I can't think of anything that naturally internally moves left to right or right to left.  If any of the baby-moves reminded me of a little alien, then it's got to be this one.

There is something magical about feeling your baby move inside you.  Whether you're at home, in the bath, delivering a presentation, at the supermarket, for that microsecond that you feel that movement your brain snaps back to your little one.  That's special - and a constant reminder that I'm truly very lucky to have had this experience. 

What are your experiences? What would you compare baby movements to?  How would you explain it to someone?

Bath Thermae Spa: Watsu when Pregnant - Review

Things have been a bit rocky recently. For the last few months I've struggled. Not so much physically, but with this constant swell of pregnancy emotions that feel like they are battering me from all sides.

So Hubby and I decided that it would do us both good to have some time away. Away from work emails, from painting the nursery, from the need to visit Ikea, again, and away from the constant merry go round of hospital appointments...

The long Easter weekend came along at just the right time so we planned a couple of days in the beautiful city of Bath. It was just what we needed - time to disconnect, to be a couple, to recharge our batteries, a mini-babymoon... and what could be better for that than a trip to Bath Thermae Spa?

I've been lucky enough to go to the spa on a couple of occasions but never with Hubby - and he was insistent that I indulged in a treatment whilst we were there. Being 33 weeks pregnant, there aren't that many treatments to pick from, but after a long chat with the reservations team I plumped for something called 'Pregnancy Watsu.'

I gathered it had something to do with water, and being moved around... to be honest I was more than a bit sceptical. I can move myself around in water thanks very much, in fact that's what is been doing already in the spa that day, so paying an extra £65 (gulp!) to have someone move me around seemed excessive. I was definitely on the fence.

But in the end, it turned out to be possibly one of the most beautiful experiences I have had during pregnancy.

You enter a private pool along with your therapist, they add a couple of floats to your legs for added bouyancy and then you spend the next 50 minutes cradled, like a baby, in their arms in the warm mineral waters. Yes, I know how this sounds. Really bloomin' odd... But it's also truly beautiful.

With my ears under the water, and my eyes closed I spent my 50 minutes in almost a meditative state - seeing only the gentle pink light filtering through my eyelids, hearing only the sound of the water supporting my body, feeling the gentle ripples tickling my skin as the therapist slowly tugged me through the water and gently moved my relaxing limbs, I became  more aware of my body than I have been for months - the strange almost alien pregnancy body felt like something I could connect with again.

And our little bump seemed to feel the same way too. My tummy was dancing. It was like we were both floating together in our little safe watery cocoons, and Pickett wanted to show their appreciation by being incredibly active. It really was like we were sharing something together and bonding. Our first piece of family time.

The more I relaxed, the more movement I felt, and I know that should probably not surprise me. But for someone who isn't used to relaxing, who is constantly on the go and practically hard wired into work emails, this was precisely what I needed. Not 50 minutes focused on myself, but 50 minutes focused on my baby. Not what we needed to do/buy/make before their arrival, but just quality time focusing on what it must be like for that little life inside my tummy.

So would I recommend Watsu?

Most definitely. Yes, okay, so being in a private pool with your eyes closed and essentially having different 'cuddles' with a total stranger does take a while to get used to, and I've no idea what it's like if you're not pregnant... but for me it was a truly magical experience. Exactly what I needed.

I left the pool feeling very at peace, and with every pleasant emotion related to our baby absolutely jangling. I felt overwhelmingly in love with my child.

Somehow my baby and I felt really tethered together beyond our obvious physical connections... My one regret is that it's not something that Hubby could experience. I would love to share that sense of commitment, and love for our little family with him.

This post has not been written in collaboration with Bath Thermae Spa or any other third party.  No incentive has been received for writing this post and is completely based on my own experiences and thoughts.