Saturday 31 August 2013

Dear Tooth Fairy. Re: Outstanding Dental Payments

Ma'am,

Firstly I'd like to say thank you for all those years where you deftly left one pound coins on my bedside table (I never did understand why you never ventured under my pillow, but the I suppose in term of piece-work, delivery to an clear surface must be more efficient), you did seem to forget to take my baby teeth with you however - don't worry, they have been stashed, somewhat macabrely, in a jar in my parents' house, should you ever decide to collect.

Secondly I wanted to enquire why you don't seem interested in the more mature tooth? You see, yesterday Hubby had his two bottom wisdom teeth removed... and he wasn't even asked if he wanted to keep them. All I can assume is that your Fairyness isn't interested in 'impacted' molars, either that or you have a good deal going with the NHS... although I suspect the potential return of £4 per surgery isn't quite enough to fund our National Health Service...

Could confirm whether you need sight of the tooth, or whether the gap in the gum is sufficient for payment?

You'll be pleased to know that Hubby is keeping his calcium levels up -albeit with chocolate milkshake and iced lattes (well, we don't own a freezer you see, and we've got to try something to keep the swelling down) - and has his new dental regime all planned out.

I look forward to your response,

Yours,
Claire

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