Thursday, 16 August 2012

Miscarriage: Don't mention the war.

I missed a call yesterday afternoon from an unknown number.  Luckily the caller left a message.

It was a lovely lady named Lynn, calling from "the clinic.". She wanted to make sure "everything" was okay, after "last week.". And if I wanted to "chat" I could call her "office."

Part of me I felt for a moment that I was in a dumbed down version of the Da Vinci Code, with a secret language to crack... The other part just wanted to giggle at the carefully constructed message.

I completely understand that leaving a voicemail you have to be careful you're reaching the right person when discussing medical matters, and that some topics of conversation can be deeply upsetting.  It is important to be discrete and sensitive and I don't doubt for a second that's what was intended.

Lynn is the lovely senior nurse at the Early Pregnancy Clinic of my local hospital, and she would have no idea how I was dealing with my loss and so her message was carefully phrased so not to cause any upset.
I really appreciated the call to check out how I was doing.  After weeks of shuttle runs to hospital and the doctors it's nice to know that someone cares after it's all over.

The message really did make me smile, partly because it was nice to hear that someone medical was still interested in me, but also in part because of the length that she went to to avoid any mention of "pregnancy" or "miscarriage" - it seemed straight out of Fawlty Towers!

"For God's sake. Don't mention babies!"

Miscarriage is a very personal thing, and from conversations I've had people deal with it in very different ways. But for me, I'm ready to face the reality.

For everyone who has been in this situation, I'm sending you much love.


  1. Really sorry to read your news. Sending love and hugs xx

    1. Thanks for your thoughts. I'm surrounded by love and kind wishes which really helps.