I have to apologize for my blog silence for the last few days. It seems that Tuesdays are sent to try me...
Earlier in the week I noticed that my back was starting to ache. We've been moving desks at work, so at first I put it down to a little too much bending and lifting. Then on Tuesday the spotting that I've been suffering for the last week started to get heavier. Then by Tuesday evening I huddled on the sofa with strong period-like pains and I was bleeding.
I had a fretful night. My back aching, my stomach cramping.
I ended up being rushed to A&E yesterday morning...
The doctors were great. They were clear to me from the beginning that there was a possibility I was miscarrying, but they listened to my heart, lungs, felt my abdomen and took blood in order to rule out other possibilities. I was lucky as the A&E doctor persuaded the gynecology department to squeeze me in for an emergency scan to check the status of my pregnancy.
They insisted I was delivered to my scan by wheelchair, and by the time I arrived in the department I was tagged, canularised and robed in a hospital gown - sticking out like a sore thumb amongst all the normally attired parents-to-be who were there for there pre-booked routine scans.
My scan was done by the gynecology consultant. Luckily, for me, he had no Junior Doctors available so was having to get a little more hands-on than was usual.
He too prepared us for the worst. As we answered some routine questions I couldn't help but notice that on the shelf in the treatment room was a stack of leaflets about First Trimester Miscarriage. It was strange, as I lay on the table ready for my scan, I prepared for bad news.
But there, on the screen, flickering like the light of a determined little candle was my baby. Tiny, only 6mm in size, but definitely there, and with a strong heartbeat - clearly not being bothered by the strange bleeding I was experiencing.
I never thought I'd be one of those people who welled up at the first sight of their baby on a monitor, and I didn't, but there was something about watching that little wriggly blob that was hypnotic. For the first time I really realized that there was another life inside me.
The consultant says that the bleeding and the pain is probably "just one of those things" - and part if me is just not surprised. Nothing is ever straightforward with me! The important thing is that my little panda is looking strong. And I've just got to cross my fingers that this continues.
Oh, and apparently my dates were slightly off as well, so I'm once again back in week 6.
Oh well - I guess no one is perfect!